Host a Dinner Party

Host a Dinner Party

All good house parties end up in the kitchen anyway

Do you remember when you used to do this? Why do we forget how much fun this is? Of course, it could also be stuffy and a lot of work. But what better way to bring people together than around food anyway? Haven’t you noticed how all good house parties eventually make their way into the kitchen? It’s social engagement physiology, folks. If it’s the preparation side that gets to you, make it a potluck. Or tell people that the purpose of the gathering is not food, but conversation.

You could make it a salon. You can curate the conversation around a theme. You could send out an article in advance to discuss at the gathering. You could watch Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette and discuss. Be choosy about whom you invite, and think about how people are likely to engage with one another. Include friends who are good at making conversation and don’t get offended easily.

At the bottom of this page is a good list of questions to ask people to get them genuinely engaged. If you are shy, you can use these as a way to pre-think what you might want to share with people. That’s something I wish someone had coached me to do in high school, before I had the confidence to engage in conversation extemporaneously. The key with all of these is to be genuinely interested in your conversation partner’s answers, and not just what interests you about them, but what they themselves are most interested in.

Make your dinner party analog to be truly restorative. No texting. Sometimes we make everyone stack their phones up on the table, and whoever pulls out their phone first does the dishes. You could even Play Boardgames or Work on a Puzzle.

Some Good Questions for Dinner Party Guests

1. Briefly, how do you know the host?
2. What’s one thing about yourself that everybody else here might not know by looking at you?
3. What book, film, or album have you enjoyed recently, and why?
4. What are you most passionate about in your life right now?
5. What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not working?
6. If money was no obstacle and time was no impediment, where would you most like to go in the world, and when? And who would you like to meet?
7. What’s the most unusual food you’ve ever eaten?
8. Who do you feel most connected to in your life?
9. If someone wanted to understand you really deeply, what’s one thing they would need to know about your past?
10. If you had to leave everything behind to move across the world, what three objects would you take with you and why?
11. How do you define success?
12. How do you define wealth?
13. What does someone have to do to earn your trust?